


it should have been me

by SylphEmblem



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Soen no Kiseki/Akatsuki no Megami | Fire Emblem Path of Radiance/Radiant Dawn
Genre: Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-04
Updated: 2017-06-04
Packaged: 2018-11-08 18:26:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11087406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SylphEmblem/pseuds/SylphEmblem
Summary: He took a hit for Shinon.





	it should have been me

⠀⠀  
⠀  
⠀Tripping over his feet more than once, Shinon ran towards the medical tent. His heart was pounding in his ears, his chest was on fire, and his legs were numb, but he couldn't stop now.  
⠀  
⠀He slid into his stop when he reached the flaps of the tent, breathing heavily. His throat was hoarse from non-stop running, but he couldn't care, he only had one thought, one person on his mind right now.  
⠀  
⠀Gatrie.  
⠀  
⠀The archer looked around quick enough to give himself whiplash, ponytail flying behind him.  
⠀  
⠀"Shinon?" Asked a calm voice. Rhys. Always so gentle and kind, no matter what he saw. "What has you so shaken?"  
⠀  
⠀"Gatrie!" He spat, finally taking the breath he needed desperately. "Where is Gatrie?"  
⠀  
⠀Rhys reached for a flask of water for Shinon, placing it into his hand and urging him to drink. It was obvious to the healer by the sweat on Shinon's forehead, the red on his cheeks, and the struggle of using his voice that he ran all the way across camp.  
"Hold a moment, Shinon. I need you to catch your breath. If I explain anything now, you likely won't hear the whole thing."  
⠀  
⠀He glared at Rhys, knowing he was entirely right. He popped open the flask and took a long drink, cold water feeling incredible. The redhead took in a deep breath, trying to relax himself. It didn't work, but it's the thought that counts. "Okay," he said after a few silent seconds. "Rhys, please. I have to know if Gatrie is okay."  
⠀  
⠀Rhys sighed, nodding his head. "Gatrie is asleep right now. Rest assured that he isn't dead." He immediately saw a burden lift off of Shinon's shoulders, his face lighting up slightly. "However, he is going to be in recovery for a few days, possibly a week. That was a terrible hit to the side, we're lucky we saw in time. And that you were there." Just like that, he saw Shinon crumple on himself again. "Shinon?"  
⠀  
⠀"It should have been me," he muttered, crossing his arms.  
⠀  
⠀"Pardon?"  
⠀  
⠀"It was supposed to be me, Rhys!" He grit his teeth, jaw tightening. "Gatrie jumped in the way of that sword! If he wasn't there, I would have been dead! I should be dead!" His shoulders were shaking now, fingers squeezing his arms too tightly, sure to leave bruises. He definitely _wanted_ to be dead.  
⠀  
⠀Rhys reached out to give Shinon's shoulder a gentle squeeze of comfort.  
⠀  
⠀"Shinon... My friend, go to your bed and rest. You're emotionally exhausted, and physically as well. You can talk to Gatrie tomorrow. I will let him know that you're going to come visit."  
⠀  
⠀He gave a weak nod, letting his arms fall to his side. "Don't tell a soul about this." Shinon wanted no one to know of his weakness. He would be far too vulnerable.  
⠀  
⠀"Never." However, Rhys would let Greil know that he should take it slightly easy on Shinon.  
⠀  
⠀Without another word, the redhead left to go and rest, every event of the day finally catching up to him. He would have drank, but he knew Gatrie wouldn't appreciate it.  
⠀  
\--  
⠀  
⠀Shinon slept into the afternoon easily, and when he woke, he was shocked that no one bothered him earlier. He sat up and rubbed the back of his neck, groaning at the soreness he had. It was only a few moments after he woke up before he remembered his friend, and he practically fell out of bed to get dressed and run out of his tent.  
⠀  
⠀The bright light in his eyes hurt, but he ignored it, just like he ignored the good afternoons directed towards him as he passed members of the team.  
⠀  
⠀While significantly less stressed than the day before, he still couldn't help but be worried. Shinon entered the tent, seeing Rhys hard at work once again.  
⠀  
⠀Hearing him enter, Rhys turned towards the archer with a smile. "He's awake, if you want to see him."  
⠀  
⠀He nodded quickly, giving thanks, walking past the many cots to see Gatrie, leaning up just slightly and reading a book from his own tent, not seeming to notice Shinon. For some reason, Shinon found himself speechless.  
⠀  
⠀"Gatrie."  
⠀  
⠀With a start, the knight looked up, and then smiled. "Shinon!"  
⠀  
⠀Shinon could feel himself shaking again. He had seen the other injured before, sure, but never because of him. His knees buckled beneath him.  
⠀  
⠀"Ah, hey, Shinon! Are you okay?" Gatrie asked with a frown.  
⠀  
⠀"You're an idiot." He mumbled through a shaky voice, a hand lifting to run through his long hair and clench the locks in his fingers.  
⠀  
⠀"What?"  
⠀  
⠀"You're an idiot! What were you thinking!?" He shouted, looking. up at him now, eyes shining with tears, threatening to fall.  
⠀  
⠀"Shinon?" Gatrie, in all honesty, was confused. Why was Shinon acting like this?  
⠀  
⠀"Why would you do that!? Why would you throw yourself in front of me like that!?"  
⠀  
⠀Ah, that explained it.  
⠀  
⠀"Relax."  
⠀  
⠀"You could have died!" The tears finally spilled over, rolling down Shinon's cheeks. "Don't tell me to relax!"  
⠀  
⠀"Shi, please." Gatrie placed down his book and reached out to rest his hands on Shinon's shoulders, hoping to steady him.  
⠀  
⠀The sniper hiccuped, staring up at Gatrie with an expression that was hard to define. He was angry, but he was so relieved, and yet so... sad. Gatrie had never seen him cry.  
⠀  
⠀"You know it should have been me..." he sobbed, not bothering to wipe his eyes. "I should have been the one hit. I should be the one in here. Hell, I should be _dead_!"  
⠀  
⠀"Shinon, stop it!" Gatrie's frown deepened, shocked by how deeply affected he was. Shinon always talked about how he didn't feel anything, how his childhood took any chance of him being capable of feeling anything besides anger. Yet, here he was; a blubbering, teary mess.  
⠀  
⠀"You know full well that you can't use an axe against a sword well!" He chastised.  
⠀  
⠀"You can't use a bow and arrow against one either! Shinon, that blow would have killed you!"  
⠀  
⠀"Who would care!?"  
⠀  
⠀"I would care!" Gatrie tightened his hold on Shinon's shoulder, almost angry. He noticed how Shinon tensed up immediately, and loosened his grip just as quick. "Rolf would care." He started. "Titania would care. Greil would care. Everyone would care."  
⠀  
⠀Shinon felt his chest tighten, and he sniffed loudly. "You're so..."  
⠀  
⠀"Stupid?" The knight finished.  
⠀  
⠀Shinon gave a small nod. "Yeah."  
⠀  
⠀Gatrie offered a smile. "Shi. I'm here. I'm alive. I'm healing. Do you know how devastated I would be if you were dead?"  
⠀  
⠀"I think I have a pretty good god damn feeling considering how I am now." Shinon huffed, crossing his arms.  
⠀  
⠀"…All right, that's fair." Gatrie said after a moments silence. "But I took the hit because I knew I could handle it. And I knew you would exact revenge faster than I would even fall to the ground." He wiped the tears off of the redheads cheeks, sighing softly. "Understand?"  
⠀  
⠀"I guess. It doesn't make you any less dumb. You fucking scared me."  
⠀  
⠀"I know, Shinon." Carefully, not to disturb his bandages around his waist, he pulled up Shinon to stand up straight, then brought him into a tight hug. "And I'm sorry for scaring you like I did. But I couldn't let you die there."  
⠀  
⠀Despite being generally uncomfortable with physical contact, Shinon couldn't help but hug the blond back and bury his face into Gatrie's shoulder, taking comfort in his best friend and taking deep breaths to calm himself. "Gatrie."  
⠀  
⠀"Yes?"  
⠀  
⠀"Thank you. You make me feel like I do matter." Shinon mumbled.  
⠀  
⠀Gatrie smiled again, squeezing him, and kissing his temple. "Good. Because you do."  
⠀

**Author's Note:**

> please talk to me about Shinon and Gatrie I love them  
> Rated T for language bc the word fuck is bad


End file.
